Saying "yes" to the present moment

"I do believe, help my unbelief!"
--Mark 9:24

Perhaps there is no statement in Scripture uttered by anyone other than God that is truer than this one. It is certainly the most beautifully human statement I can recall.

To acknowledge at once both our desire to believe and the limitations of our belief, the limitations of our desire to believe, in fact. And belief, of course, is far more than simple intellectual assent to some formula or doctrine. Belief, in this sense, is faith, the ultimate letting-go into the basic benevolence of the universe, a saying "yes" to whatever is unfolding in this present moment.

I've been trying to recover from a nasty virus the last three days. At various times I have prayed for healing and seethed with resentment that my body has betrayed me, especially during this all-important final week before my month-long travels. It did not occur to me, at least until just now, that the purest act of faith in this situation might have been to simply say "yes" to my illness, to accept and embrace the reality of my finite, mortal body in this complex, interdependent universe in this particular moment in time.

Doing so would not mean that I ceased to take care of myself or do the things needed to get better quickly. But it would mean that all the self-absorbed, existential resistance I put up to the present moment might give way to clarity, equanimity, and openness. Probably a much better condition for healing.

We believe, and we disbelieve, and somewhere in the dance between God meets us.