My many possessions

"When the young man heard this statement he went away sad, because he had many possessions."
--Matthew 19:22

I have never particulary identified with the rich young man in this Gospel passage, in part because I've never thought I was rich but also because I never had much interest in being rich or having a lot of nice things. I always took a little bit of smug satisfaction in Jesus dressing down the wealthy in this reading.

But today, I hear the word of the Lord. I am not rich by American standards, but I am certainly rich compared to many others, and my life is absolutely full of nice things (possessions, broadly understood), from a modest but beautiful home to newer, well-functioning cars, to my many friendships, my physical health, enough resources for nice vacations and evenings out, and a busy social schedule. In fact, as I think on it, the greatest frustrations of my daily life come from the relentless management of all these good things. I don't face any serious deprivation, illness, or oppression, but I sure whine and fret a lot over the broken air conditioner, spending too much time at my good-paying (mostly rewarding) job, finding time to exercise more and preserve my already strong health, or deciding which competing dinner invitation to accept from friends.

I am embarassed to admit this, but Jesus has hit me square between the eyes today. Clearly, there is nothing wrong with having all these things, but the lack of gratitude for them and the excessive focus on maintaining and managing my "possessions" can pose a real obstacle to true discipleship.

The Hungry Will Be Fed

When it was evening, the disciples approached him and said,
“This is a deserted place and it is already late;
dismiss the crowds so that they can go to the villages
and buy food for themselves.”
He said to them, “There is no need for them to go away;
give them some food yourselves.”

--Matthew 14:15-16

I have been trying to work with this idea of nurturing a heart of compassion. Steve T has given me some wise counsel on this, as he does on many things. And God keeps speaking to me, especially through Scripture.

In yesterday's Gospel, we saw Jesus trying to retreat to a "desert place" where he can be alone to process and pray through the death of John the Baptist. But the people come to him anyway, longing to be cured of their illnesses and he does. Then the disciples try to send them away so they can eat, but Jesus insists that they feed the people, and performs the Five Loaves miracle of feeding them all.

There are multiple layers of meaning here, of course. God is reminding us to give even when we don't think we've got the resources, and the need will be met. And this is about more than sharing food. Jesus provides the example himself. He needed time alone, but he let go and gave of his time, trusting that his needs, as well as those of the people, would be met.

I am far more covetous of my time than I am of food or money. My perpetual obsession with finding "balance," which I am seeking deliverance from right now, reflects my fear that my resources will not be enough to meet my wants and needs. When I read this passage yesterday, I thought God was speaking to me about being more generous with my time, but on further prayer and reflection, I discovered that, at least today, I am not represented by the disciples in this Gospel, but by the hungry people. God is telling me that I will be fed, even when the food (time, energy, solitude, etc.) looks pretty scarce.