Homecoming

"In building a community of pardon that is the temple of God, we have to recognize that no one is complete, self-sufficient, perfectly holy in himself.  No one can rest in his own individual virtues and interior life.  No man lives for himself alone.  To live for oneself alone is to die.  We grow and flourish in our own lives insofar as we live for others and through others.  What we ourselves lack, God has given them.  They must complete us where we are deficient.  Hence we must always remain open to one another so that we can always share with each other."

--Thomas Merton, Seasons of Celebration

I am happily at home again after a month-long visit to Norway.  As many friends know, I approached the journey with some reluctance, fretful about the loss of my routines, the lack of time for quiet reflection, etc.  I even began to think of the trip as a kind of Lenten experience, a penance of sorts, a surrender of the ordinary and familiar.  

And it was.  But it was also a Lenten experience in the holiest sense, in that through surrender I experienced a great renewal and regeneration.  I cannot convey how wonderful my journey was, how thought-provoking, heart-warming and life-changing.  There were the actual experiences of being in a beautiful place and doing strange and unusual things, but more importantly was the intimate encounter with the people who opened their homes to us, shared their lives, and introduced us into their ways of thinking and living while eagerly desiring to learn from us too.

My routines were disrupted indeed, but I now can see what deep ruts had begun to define my life and way of thinking about work, about myself, about my world.  The break from routine gave me new insights into how closed I have become in subtle ways, and a renewed desire for deepening my friendships and making new ones, for traveling and experiencing new places, and above all for nurturing my need to listen deeply to the needs and opinions of others.  I am a man of deep passions and strong views, and that can be a gift.  But it can also be a heavy burden when it blinds me to the wisdom of others.  And so I now carry a strong yearning for more openness, deeper listening, and above all a heart of peace, compassion and understanding for others.

I have been so richly blessed in my life.  The opportunity to visit Norway was just one of many examples of the riches that I have received.  I have deserved none of them, and I find myself bewildered and humbled by this graciousness.  Why me?  I don't know the answer to this, but I do know how I must respond.  To the best of my ability, I must use the great beauty and goodness of my life to serve others, to share with others, to lift others up so that they too might know some degree of beauty, goodness, and joy.

I don't know how to do that, and I am a deeply broken man, not a prophet or saint.  But just as surely as I have been given these special experiences, I will believe that the One who Provides will also lead me to where I can do some good, if I remain open, quiet, humble, and willing to listen and be lead.

I am home, and yet the journey is just beginning.