Listening for What Comes Next

“Moreover, outside of God’s special intervention, I believe it is humanly impossible for a sinner to come to peaceful repose in the spiritual experience of himself and of God until he has first exercised his imagination and reason in appreciating his own human potential, as well as the manifold works of God, and until he has learned to grieve over sin and find his joy in goodness. Believe me, whoever will not journey by this path will go astray. One must remain outside contemplation, occupied in discursive meditation, even though he would prefer to enter into the contemplative repose beyond them…Some find the door and enter within sooner than others, not because they possess a special admittance or unusual merit, but simply because the porter chooses to let them in.”
—Privy Counsel Ch. 14

Here the author emphasizes again that contemplative practice is not for everyone. It is an extremely rare calling, in fact, and though we may feel drawn to the practice, an intellectual curiosity about meditation is not the same thing as a vocation to it. There is nothing wrong with traditional forms of discursive prayer or meditation techniques which utilize reason and imagination. The author stresses that it is necessary to utilize these techniques first on the pathway to contemplation, and that some may find such techniques to be their permanent spiritual home.

If we do eventually come to an understanding of contemplative practice, a deep, quiet waiting should follow to see if such silent prayer is actually for us to pursue. This is an extremely subtle process, and a kind of meditation in itself.

In case anyone who read this thinks that I myself am an experienced contemplative, let me confess that I do not maintain a daily meditation practice. I have used meditation techniques off and on for a dozen years or so, and have been graced with a number of remarkable experiences and insights during contemplation. But I am no expert. My central spiritual practice is journaling, which is what I am doing right now, and it is one of those discursive methods of imagination and reason that the author of Privy Counsel describes as a part of the path.

Lately I have been drawn to a more informal type of contemplative practice as I go about my daily life. While driving my car, or eating, or conversing with friends and family, I feel drawn to slow down internally (even though on the outside I may be very active). From a still point inside, I endeavor to just watch the flow of things as they occur, even the activity of my own mind, without identifying with it, clinging to the experience or pushing it away. This is contemplative practice in its most basic form, as I understand it, and I have a sense that for now, it is sufficient. When a different approach is needed, I believe that it will become evident, and a new path will open.

Perhaps it is the same for everyone else. The key component to contemplative living is just listening to the present moment, to see what should come next.