Fear and True Love

"There is no fear in love, but perfect love drives out fear because fear has to do with punishment, and so one who fears is not yet perfect in love."
1 John 4:18

Monsignor Charles Pope of the Archdiocese of Washington offers a thoughtful reflection on the meaning of the "fear of the Lord" in scripture and the life of faith.

Citing St. Augustine, Msgr. Pope distinguishes between "servile" fear of the Lord (which is a fear of being punished for failing to do God's will) from filial fear (the fear a son feels of failing to properly reciprocate his father's love).

Genuine fear of the Lord is rooted in love. It is the aversion we feel at the thought of hurting or offending someone we love. In genuinely loving relationships, we long for unity with our beloved, whom we appreciate and adore. Msgr. Pope's (and St. Augustine's) comparison of this kind of fear to the relationship of a loving father and his child resonates for me, but ironically in the reverse.

As a father myself, of course I hope that my daughter comes to love me in such a way that she avoids hurting me and bringing separation and enmity between us, not simply out of fear but because she values our relationship so much. But the reverse is also true. I cringe at the thought that I might hurt her someday, I'm sure out of selfishness and unintended oversight if (when?) that happens.

Of course, I feel that aversion toward hurting my friends, my wife, and others too, but I have never known a human love quite like I feel for this little girl. Nothing compares. My adoration for her is beyond words, and I hope with all my heart never to let her down.

This, then, must be what scripture means by "fear of the Lord," or at least the closest thing I've experienced so far, and suggests why such an attitude is so important for faith and discipleship. Modern secular society undoubtedly would scoff at the phrase "fear of the Lord" as something arcane and primitive. This reveals how short-sighted and weaak the modern mind has come to be, and how far from true love we really are.

Lover of my Soul, your patience with and passion for me is humbling. You pursue me though I reject you again and again, you who made me and love me and long for my rest in you. And I long for you too, looking in all the wrong places. Take me and make me yours. Make me always true to our love. Amen.