My Deal with the Blessed Virgin Mary

Solemnity of the Immaculate Conception

On an autumn weekday in 1993 I went into an empty Catholic Church, knelt before an image of the Blessed Virgin Mary, and prayed.  I was not a Catholic, though I had been sporadically attending Mass with my girlfriend, and even now I'm not entirely sure what brought me there.  I was anxious about many things that day.  My girlfriend and I were at a pivotal place  (we were maintaining an intense but long-distance relationship), I was uncertain about my course of studies (I was in graduate school at the time), and I was feeling spiritually lost and in need of guidance.

In my desperation, I prayed to the Blessed Mother, something totally foreign to my Baptist upbringing, and asked her to intercede for me, to pray for me and help me resolve the big decisions I faced about school and about my girlfriend.  I loved this young woman, could see her as my wife, and was anxious that our relationship succeed.  In the kind of reckless spiritual bargaining people often find themselves engaging in during prayer, I offered Mary a deal: Take me under your protection and pray for me, and I will dedicate myself to you and your Church.

I had no idea what I was promising but the Blessed Mother evidently accepted my plea.  In two months time I had transfered schools, which put me in much closer proximity to my girlfriend.  We were engaged six months later, and have been married for 16 years now.  Our daughter will be two years old in a few weeks.

On the other hand, I was not as faithful to our bargain.  I did become Catholic eventually, though it took me another seven years to finally follow through.  My devotion to Mary was anemic at best, and I have always been the most cafeteria of Catholics, even as I have tried to exercise some discipline in prayer and study and development of my own faith.  I am a deeply flawed disciple, to say the least.

But periodically I am reminded of that day nearly 20 years ago when she accepted me, a lost boy so anxious to love and be loved and find my place in the world.  Today, as I prayed in church during the feast of her Immaculate Conception, I felt her presence again and could sense her loving, caring, prayerful protection as she graciously continues to hold up her end of our deal.

And so on this day I rededicate myself to the Blessed Virgin Mary, and to her son my Savior and Lord, and to his body, the Church, that through his grace I might be a better servant to him, to my family and friends, and to my brothers and sisters in need, now and forever.

Hail, holy queen, mother of mercy; hail, our life, our sweetness and our hope.  To thee do we cry, poor banished children of Eve: to thee do we send up our sighs, mourning and weeping in this vale of tears.  Turn then, most gracious Advocate, thine eyes of mercy toward us, and after this our exile, show us the blessed fruit of thy womb, Jesus. O merciful, O loving, O sweet Virgin Mary!  Amen.