I Thirst

Monday, Fourth Week of Easter

“Athirst is my soul for the living God.”
—Psalm 42:3a

I am tired and weary today. I am sad. The economy has finally caught up to those of us who work in the public sector, and the organization I work for is facing some sizable budget cuts. People are going to lose their jobs. My own job, which I will soon be departing, will not be filled.

I am left with a deep sense of mourning over this. What does it mean to give your heart and soul for work that, in the end, will either be left incomplete, or will be divided up and doled out to other employees who have no choice but to willingly accept it? What do I do with all this work I have created and all the residual stuff associated with it?

It makes me feel thoroughly expendable.

And, it makes me feel selfish that I’m mourning like this when other people are losing the jobs they have.

We tie up so much emotion, aspiration, hope, and passion in the work we do. There’s nothing wrong with this, I suppose. All such longing is a manifestation, a sacrament, of our deep thirst for fulfillment, meaning and purpose, a thirst that is quenched through our work and our relationships, but ultimately, quenched by God.

Holy One, pour your goodness out upon those who are struggling with the loss of jobs and upon those who must make these difficult decisions. I offer my own work here up to you, and release my attachment to what becomes of it, trusting that, by your grace, any light I have brought here will continue to shine where it is needed. Quench my heart’s longing, and let me rest in you. Amen.