Confessions of a Radical

As a ONE on the Enneagram, I have always had a compulsion for trying to improve things--for improving the world and especially for improving myself.  My desire to fix the world manifested mostly in through a keen interest in politics and social movements.  My childhood heroes were not Spiderman or even Luke Skywalker (though I was quite the fan of both), not sports heroes or movie stars, but rather Martin Luther King, Jr., and Gandhi.  

Seriously.  These were the men I wanted to emulate.

So I was interested in history, in politics, and especially in the spiritual dimensions of social transformation.  In college I was heavily involved in peace and environmental activism on campus and in the classroom.  I first studied journalism, but then decided that I wanted to get down to the roots of why there was injustice in the world and how to correct it, and ended up taking my degree in philosophy and religion.  I went to grad school to study theology and ethics.  But this wasn't "in the trenches" enough for me, so I became a teacher with the intent of transforming the world one kid at a time, and foolishly thought that with my "spare" time I would continue to devote myself to community activism.

Of course, I quickly discovered that teachers don't really have that much spare time, especially compared to college students.  So the activism slowed to a stop.  Meanwhile, working in the bureaucracy of the public schools led to cynicism.  My values didn't change, but my confidence in government did.  Always interested in all-encompassing political philosophies, I studied libertarianism and adopted a nearly anarchist outlook on social change.  But that critical stance toward the world remained.

There was a corresponding struggle for transformation going on inside me, which I'll write about some other time.  My point in all this is to demonstrate how thoroughly I actually am a ONE and always have been.  And it's always been all or nothing.  The world had to change according to my viewpoint, and my viewpoint was total: Marxism or anarcho-capitalism, the change was motivated by a comprehensive system of ideas that left little room for nuance or compromise.

One of the lessons of the Enneagram is that God is constantly inviting us to grow and become whole.  Now, this is a theme with great appeal for a ONE, of course.  But for a ONE, the growth means letting go of some of that harsh, critical stance toward the world.  I remain a ONE, but something happens to the way I manifest my personality as a ONE.  I move toward greater tolerance, understanding, compassion, and above all patience.

Something happened while I was in Norway that has caused a subtle but significant shift in my attitude toward the world of politics lately.  It wasn't that they saw the world differently than me, it's that the Norwegians bent all the definitions of politics I had come to know.  They are neither liberal nor conservative, neither socialist nor capitalist.  They are collectivists and individualists at the same time.

Some people have heard me talk or write about Norway and think I've just fallen in love with the people there and think they can do no wrong.  I do love Norway and the Norwegian people, but I have no such notions about the rightness or wrongness of their political system and attitudes.  They just demonstrate to me that there are multiple ways of looking at a problem, and far more than just two solutions.  Reflecting on the Norwegians has brought a kind of peace and deep reflection to my mind when I watch the news now or reflect on politics.  My absolutist perspective has been tempered by a new kind of openness and curiosity.  

This is how a ONE begins to come to redemption.  And this is just the beginning.